I can’t be talked out of my anxiety, but I have learned to manage it better

I can’t be talked out of my anxiety, but I have learned to manage it better

Healty

I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember. Because I don’t really believe in the concept of “TMI,” I’ve also been talking about my anxiety for as long as I can remember, and people often give me advice about how to deal with it. While I appreciate the support and the good intentions, there isn’t really a one-size-fits-all solution for anxiety — it’s something we often have to figure out for ourselves (or with the help of a therapist and medication, if we choose to go that route). I’ve heard, “Just stop thinking about it,” and “Don’t worry so much,” as well as, “Your life is going fine, what’s there to be anxious about?” as though there’s a way to talk me out of my anxiety. But the thing is, things like anxiety and depression are not necessarily rational, and thus cannot be suppressed or cured through rationalization. Things that work for some people just aren’t guaranteed to work for everyone, and anxiety levels ebb and flow depending on a number of factors. While it’s likely something I’ll deal with forever, I’m learning how to cope with the different kinds of anxiety I feel in my own way.

My social anxiety used to be untamed and wild. I’ve felt squirrelly in situations that, to the untrained eye, I should’ve been totally calm in. My worries are usually that other people are judging me; that I don’t fit in, that I’ll say something offensive or unforgivable, or that I’m just not cool enough to be invited back. It’s hard to be an introvert with anxiety who also loves people deeply and craves connection — it feels like a constant push and pull, and I’ve often felt like a rubber-band about to snap. This anxiety has gotten better over the years, simply because I’ve gotten older and tougher and had to realize that life goes on even if people don’t like me, and I only want people in my life who do. However, part of me still desperately wants to be liked by everyone, and my anxiety still pops up in unfamiliar situations with new people. The good news is that I’ve learned to assess my energy before making plans, and I try to make friends with people who will be understanding if I need to cancel because I’ve already hit my limit for the day or the week. It’s important to surround yourself with people who love you enough that they want to be with you, but also love you in such a way that they understand if you need some time alone.

I also worry a lot about the health and safety of my loved ones, which is a particular anxiety I’ve still not been able to get much of a grip on. This is probably because it’s something over which I have no control, and I love people hard and fast — once I meet someone I like, I also love them, and when I’m not with them, I worry about them. This goes double for my family. When I was younger, I was convinced that my parents were going to get in a car accident on the way home from work, and when I was old enough to come home after school by myself, I would often sit in the bathroom quietly, waiting to hear the front door open as a sign that all was well. But I’ve found that it helps to be in contact with those that I love, and to ask for the things that I need and explain why I need it. I’ve told my partner that it helps me to know when he’s coming home if he’s going to be out late at night — it’s not because I’m keeping tabs on him or being overbearing, it’s just because I worry and want to know if I should be expecting him soon, or if he’s, yknow, lost or injured. I also check in with my brother at least once a day even though he’s 3000 miles away, because he’s my best friend in the world and I always want to make sure he’s doing well. These things help me feel secure and know that the people I love are safe.

Sometimes, I feel anxious about my work. I worry that I’m not good enough to live in New York, to be an editor, to be working with my talented coworkers, and then my breath gets constricted and I feel very, very sweaty. This work-related anxiety is also called imposter syndrome, and so many people deal with it all the time. However, I’m getting better at facing it head on — when it happens, I look at the facts. I think about my job and what I’m supposed to get done every day, and I realize that I get it done (and often more). I think about the relationships I have with my writers, and I feel really, really happy. I think about my own writing, and I feel fulfilled. I realize that there’s no real reason to feel anxious, unless it’s to keep pushing me forward in my work — but I can do that without fear. I can feel motivated all on my own without the anxiety, and I do every day.

Another type of anxiety that I deal with is unnameable. It’s the type of anxiety that just swells up in my chest like tiny knots, for no reason and with no warning, and this is harder to deal with because I never see it coming. But still, I’m getting better at helping myself through these episodes, because each time I remember that there was a last time and I made it through. I try to remember that so many strong, successful people I know deal with anxiety, too, and that I’m not alone. We’re all in this together, in some way, and I can make it through what I’m dealing with.

No matter who you are or what context you’re experiencing it in, anxiety is hard to deal with. There is also no way to deal with it that works for everyone — it’s a matter of finding what works for you, and it’s likely a combination of things. I have an arsenal of tools in my anxiety toolkit, from communication techniques I use with others to ask for what I need, to medication I take during anxiety attacks, to post-it notes I leave for myself on my mirrors, to simply reminding myself to breathe when I’m really feeling tense. I also try to remember that I have had bad, anxious days before, and no bad day has ever killed me. In fact, I’ve only become stronger each time — and I try to think that this new bad day, this new anxiety attack, will only make me stronger once more, because I’ll make it through yet again.

25 Reasons Red Wine Is Either Healthy or Horrible for You

25 Reasons Red Wine Is Either Healthy or Horrible for You

Healty

Have you heard? Red wine can now reverse the negative effects of high-fat, high-sugar foods on your muscles! Miracle.

A new study conducted at Georgetown University concluded that resveratrol (a polyphenol compound present in wine, as well as blueberries and raspberries) can undo the damage of high-fat, high-sugar diet on "slow" muscle groups responsible for walking and standing. (One thing to note: The study was done on 24 adult male rhesus monkeys, not humans.)

Another thing to note: There have been contradictory studies about the health benefits and harms of red wine for a while now forever. Here, a sample...

All the great things studies claim drinking red wine can do:

1. Lower the risk of breast cancer.

2. Raise levels of good HDL cholesterol.

3. Be equivalent to an hour of exercise.

3. Give you better sleep quality.

4. Prevent tooth decay.

5. Reduce plaque in your arteries.

6. Make you have fewer colds.

7. Help you lose weight.

8. Lower your risk of heart disease, stroke, and dementia.

9. Give you "gorgeous skin."

10. Aid digestion.

11. Enhance exercise performance.

12. Control Type 2 Diabetes.

13. Help you "chill out."

14. Reduce risk of depression.

15. Give you a longer life.

16. Increase diversity of bacteria in your gut.

17. Fight off cavities.

18. Stop bug bites.

19. Prevent memory loss.

And all the horrible things:

1. Increase the risk of breast cancer.

2. Damage the liver.

3. Not reduce mortality.

4. Increase risk of stroke and heart attack.

5. Lead to alcoholism.

6. Hamper muscle healing.

Can't win, can't lose. One thing's certain: Dinner just isn't the same without a glass of malbec, so we're just going to have to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to all of the above.

The Activity That May Add Many Years to Your Life

The Activity That May Add Many Years to Your Life

Healty

Women who pray may want to say an extra “amen” during their next worship service: According to research published this week in JAMA Internal Medicine, those who regularly attended religious services — as in more than once a week— were more than 30 percent less likely to die prematurely. And those who attended services more faithfully had a “significantly lower risk” of mortality due to cardiovascular issues (27 percent) or cancer (21 percent).

The researchers studied the data of 74,534 women over the course of 16 years (from 1992 to 2012), questioning subjects about their health and lifestyle every two years while recording certain factors (i.e. alcohol consumption, weight).

As a result, the investigators discovered that the ladies who made their way to church at least once a week lived an average of five months longer compared to those who were less devout.

“Attending religious services provides social support, which is beneficial for health,” Tyler VanderWeele, professor of epidemiology at Harvard Chan School and senior author of the study, tells Yahoo Beauty. “And there appears to be other pathways for the effect of religious service attendance including, for example, social and behavioral norms reducing the likelihood of smoking, and possibly something like a message of hope increasing optimism and decreasing depression.”

He adds that a sense of meaning and a purpose in life mixed with the “development of self-discipline by following common religious practices” may also play a role in longevity.

And while this study focused specifically on white Christian women, VanderWeele points to previous research with different subjects of varying faiths that had similar conclusions.

“Prior studies have also found, for men, an association between religious service attendance and lower mortality,” he states. “But the best evidence to date seems to suggest that the association, while present, may not be as strong for men as it is for women. In fact, there has been a study in Israel with a predominantly Jewish population, and in Taiwan where Buddhism and folk religion were the primary forms of religious participation. And these studies likewise found longitudinal associations between service attendance and lower mortality.”

So what about the person who lives a spiritual existence without belonging to a house of worship? In his professional opinion, VanderWeele feels that a longer life expectancy is more linked to the group itself rather than one’s personal belief in God.

“The association between religious participation and mortality probably has more to do with religious practice — and specifically communal practice, like attending religious services — than with spirituality,” he says. “Something about the communal religious experience seems to be powerful for health.”

To back up his claim, VanderWeele states that previous works have shown that private spiritual practices did not have a significant impact on wellbeing. “These things may of course still be important and meaningful within the context of spiritual or religious life, but they do not appear to affect health as strongly,” he says. Preach.

The Secret Way Models Slim Down Before Photo Shoots

The Secret Way Models Slim Down Before Photo Shoots

Fitness

Ever wonder how models and celebrities look so great in magazines?

Well, they have round-the-clock trainers and nutritionists to keep their bodies in peak physical condition at all times — as well as the help of Photoshop, of course. But how do such busy people manage to look so ultra fit — with the incredible muscle definition of a professional athlete — at all the right moments? For example, on this month’s cover of Men’s Fitness, Zac Efron sports bulging biceps and looks particularly vascular. He looks hot, by definition, but can somebody please get this guy a Gatorade? His chiseled arms and bulging pecs look seriously dehydrated.

Two months ago, Efron was spotted completing an obstacle course on the set of Baywatch. Even with his muscles in full gear, his veins weren’t bulging, and his arms look much fuller.

So here’s the secret: We suspect it’s the work of water. Or rather, the lack thereof.

Bodybuilders are known to use diuretics, or water pills, to trim down and get cut before shows. These pills have been around for about 60 years and were invented to treat health issues that result in swelling, painful bloating, fluid buildup, and high blood pressure, but they’re now being abused.

There are countless online forums filled with curious bodybuilders hoping to get shredded fast, and models have caught on. “Everyone does it,” an anonymous male model told Yahoo Beauty. “Female models too.” He says that he and other models take two over-the-counter water pills a day for two days before shoots, agency measurements, and digitals, rather than the typically recommended dosage of one a day for five days. Since everything in the modeling world happens on short notice, abuse is inherent.

In otherwise healthy people, side effects of water pills are uncommon, but for those who take them without instruction by a doctor, they can be severe. “You feel dizzy and nauseous,” says the model. “If you take too much, you literally think you’re dying.” He recalls a time that he took three over-the-counter water pills, and his heartbeat slowed down to a worrying rate, at which point he drank “gallons of water.”

By taking these dehydrating pills and eliminating water intake, models lose “around five pounds” in just two days. But the results don’t last, and as soon as the pills leave the body, the weight comes back. Water pills are never prescribed to people looking to lose fat and keep it off. But as a quick fix for models, bodybuilders, and probably some celebrities, over-the-counter water pills can be an unhealthy but effective way to get temporarily toned.

“The real goal of weight loss isn’t just to make the scale go down by two to three pounds but to lose body fat,” says Linda Anegawa, M.D., founder and medical director of OSR Weight Management, in Hawaii. “Water pills don’t affect excess body fat.”

Ironically, the pills can cause weight gain if used over a long period of time. According to Anegawa, overuse can result in your kidneys compensating for the diuretic and thus holding onto more water weight than you did before you started taking them — a disorder called diuretic-induced edema.

Diuretics can be useful for women experiencing uncomfortable bloating due to PMS, but Anegawa recommends getting water pills from your physician, not the over-the-counter kind, which aren’t FDA approved.

And don’t get used to the fleeting shredded look they may give you.

Adorable Photo of Dad and Newborn Sons Shows Importance of Skin to Skin Contact

Adorable Photo of Dad and Newborn Sons Shows Importance of Skin to Skin Contact

Healty

A heartwarming photo of a dad and son holding their family’s latest additions is going viral.

The photo, originally posted on Facebook in Swedish by Forældre og Fødsel, was picked up on the NINO Birth’s Facebook page and has been shared more than 25,000 times.

It shows a dad holding a tiny newborn twin against his bare chest and leaning up against him is his son, doing the same thing with the other twin.

“Skin to Skin Contact is not ‘new,’ but Sweden certainly leads the way in making this care family-friendly even for very tiny babies,” the post explains. “I love this picture of big brother helping his dad care for the twins!”

"Revolutionary and innovative practices in Uppsala, Sweden. Children of 700 grams [1.5 pounds] can be skin to skin on the parent’s chest instead of the incubator.”

Skin to skin contact, also called Kangaroo Care, has long been touted as a way for parents to bond with their newborn — but the heath benefits are backed up by science, especially for preemies.

According to Swedish professor Uwe Ewald, it regulates a premature baby’s body temperature more effectively than an incubator, and also promotes better breathing and quicker weight gain for premature babies.

And, according to the Facebook post, “research shows that parents bacterial flora — compared with hospital bacteria - reduces the risk of serious infections in these delicate children.”

Pretty cool — not to mention extremely adorable.

New Study Highlights Gross (and Even Dangerous) Germs in Pools and Hot Tubs

New Study Highlights Gross (and Even Dangerous) Germs in Pools and Hot Tubs

Healty

According to new research published in the American Chemical Society’s journal Environmental Science & Technology, germs are lurking in pools and hot tubs — both private and public — even after they’ve been cleaned.

And these microbes could possibly wreak havoc on your body, both inside and out.

The study investigators explain that while pool disinfectants (the most popular ones being chlorine or bromine) destroy pathogens — microscopic, toxic organisms that cause diseases — the combination of these cleaners mixed with other substances that people contribute to the water create other compounds, known as disinfection byproducts.

“Disinfection byproducts (DBPs) form when disinfectants, like chlorine, bromine, or ozone, react with organic matter present in the water,” Susan Richardson, PhD, lead researcher and professor of chemistry at the University of South Carolina, tells Yahoo Beauty. “The ‘not natural’ organic matter can include compounds present in urine (urea, uric acid, etc., along with pharmaceuticals that can be peed out), sweat (urea comes from sweat too), and also compounds arising from personal care products (such as sunscreen ingredients, lotions, hair products, cosmetics, etc.).”

Richardson and her team tested water collected from private and public swimming pools and hot tubs after normal and intense use. Not only did they discover more than 100 disinfection byproducts floating around these waters, but also the samples were between 2.4 and 4.1 times more mutagenic than the regular tap water each pool or tub was originally filled with.

“We also found some DBPs that are unique to pools/spas that have not been found in drinking water before,” she adds. “Of course, most people aren’t drinking this water (although swimmers will ingest a little bit while swimming). The main routes of exposure to DBPs are from breathing them in, and some will go across the skin into your blood stream.”

As a result, these inorganic substances have the ability to cause serious — even devastating — harm to our cells, which may explain why previous reports found that those who swim or work in or near pools have higher rates of respiratory symptoms and bladder cancer.

“More frequent colds, sore throat, phlegm, and red, itchy eyes have also been reported, as well as some skin problems,” says Richardson.

On the less severe — yet still unsettling — end, chlorine, in and of itself, can inflict damage on hair (Those with dry, thin, or color-treated hair are at risk of being left with porous locks since this disinfectant can strip the hair of oil.) and skin, leaving it dry, red and itchy, depending on the individual. But can the byproducts have even stronger side effects?

The answer: Maybe.

“Concentrations of the disinfection byproducts reported in the study are on the order of micrograms per liter,” Kelly Dobos, a cosmetic chemist with expertise in skin care and personal-care product formulation, tells Yahoo Beauty. “These are very small amounts. And it’s important to understand that the mutagenicity studies were performed using microorganisms.”

So while these compounds made of sweat and chemical cleaner sound frightful, Dobos states that “much more work needs to be done to really prove if there are any detrimental effects.”

She adds that the majority of skin irritations from swimming pools are due to improper levels of disinfectant or pH. “And some individuals are just sensitive to chlorine or bromine.”

As for how to keep pools and hot tubs from becoming murky, the researchers suggest that owners and operators change the water more frequently, and that swimmers rinse off before taking a dip. “Also, products with polyhexamethylene biguanide, known as biguanide, are an alternative for treating pool and spa water,” adds Dobos.

How I Trained For A Hot Summer Bod

How I Trained For A Hot Summer Bod

Healty

Dana James is a triple-board-certified nutritionist, Charlotte’s Book advisor, and founder of Food Coach NYC. She has a multi-disciplinary approach to nutrition therapy and fitness—here’s how she struggled to find the right work out, and eventually figured out the key to a beautiful toned, hot bod.

Almost every woman I know wants a lean body with sculpted muscles. She doesn’t want to bulk up. She wants a feminine body with curves from nicely rounded muscles. Yet, when we ask how to achieve this, the exercise experts give us conflicting information.

The buff trainers advise us to lift heavy weights to see muscle tone, while the Tracy Anderson-style trainers advise us to use light weights with lots of repetition. Who’s right? Is there some middle ground?

An Inadvertent Experiment

Over the past 18 months, I inadvertently conducted an experiment on my own body. For 15 years, I’d worked out with trainers and always requested the same thing—give me leaner legs and get rid of that fat above my knee (I have leg issues). My legs didn’t change much, but then, under the advice of my trainer-at-the-time, we increased the weights to tighten the muscle around my knee. The objective was to make it smaller. It didn’t work: it bulked it up.

After that, I was done—I went on a trainer hiatus for 12 months. There were enough boutique studios popping up in New York that I opted for group classes instead. I ran, took spin classes, yoga classes and, when I was on-form, did Tracy Anderson’s leg workout (this didn’t happen often). The only weights I used were in the spin classes for my upper body.

The Results? Not Exactly Perfect

Did my legs change? No. Did my body change? Yes, but not in the direction I wanted it to. The sculpted arms I was proud of the year before were no longer there. I felt dumpy and pudgy.

Was it time to go back to the heavy weights? I felt like one of my detox-retox-detox clients. It wasn’t time to do that. I needed an alternative strategy.

Experiment #2 (Spoiler Alert, This One Worked)

I replaced my cardio-skewed exercise program with a muscle sculpting program. I took Barry’s bootcamp 2-3x per week and used medium weights. I continued with yoga, and started with a movement specialist, Erik Hansen, who also trains Eva Mendes and Bruce Willis. Erik taught me the importance of postural alignment, working on small muscle groups, and using a combination of weights to improve my body shape. I’m happy to report that my arms are back and I’ll be wearing shorts this summer!

Tips From Erik, Movement Specialist

According to Erik, “most women prefer to avoid muscle hypertrophy.” Couldn’t agree more! His workouts address any postural imbalances, mobility or stability issues and improve overall strength and conditioning.

I choose carefully when and which muscles to place under significant load, sometimes only using body weight exercises.
I utilize full body and functional movements and movements inspired by yoga and pilates.
I tend to steer clear of heavy lifting with presses, pulldowns and rows, using them at a lower intensity instead, to support good posture rather than going after big strength gains.
I’ve also found that the smaller muscles—the biceps, triceps and deltoids—can be pushed harder strength-wise without adding size.
When training the lower body, I choose compound movements in which the muscles of the posterior chain (lower back, hamstring, glutes) are the primary movers, with variations of deadlifts, squats and lunges, in an attempt not to overload the quadriceps muscles, as they can tend to hypertrophy as well.
Perfect Legs: Tips From Chris Heron At Shaping Change

As I’ve been in search of the perfect legs for the past 20 years, I’ve asked many experts along the way. Chris Heron from Shaping Change in London, added this to the solution:

Sprint: this has better fat loss effects in half the time of steady state cardiovascular exercise. Studies have shown that near maximal efforts (90% + of max effort) for 15 repeats of 30 second sprints helped participants lose more fat in 6 weeks than people who spent more than double the time daily doing steady state cardio exercise.
Lift moderate weights but at very high volume: women should lift a little lighter weights, but lift them lots of times! Try a set of exercises that hits muscles in order of size, starting with legs, then back, chest and finish with shoulders and arms. With each exercise do 20-25 reps and go through the entire set 3 times.
At Last: The Dana James Plan

Spend 15 minutes doing sprint intervals, followed by Chris’ program, then do another round of 15 minute sprint intervals. This mimics the Barry’s bootcamp program I do in New York.
In terms of diet, eat clean. Mostly plants. A small amount of protein. An even smaller amount of carbs.
If you find yourself rationalizing your food choices with “I’ll run it off tomorrow” then you’ve just taken a step backwards. Use exercise to change the shape of your muscles and diet to burn fat.

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